Life is so tired

I never forgot how we were.
It's sort of like headlights passing by on the highway at night. All red and gold streaking by. Burnt into the back of the eyes.
Heedless laughter rumbles ghostly in the passenger seat, and I suddenly forget how to drive.
It's no wonder, to me, there are so many fatal collisions when it's so easy to find the old laughter and lights on the road.

My stomach is full, but my belly is empty

When did I become... this?
I feel the need to close my eyes as tight as I can
until the faraway rumbling I hear rips me away from whatever life this is.

"Orchestral music plays when your heart's breaking..."

We live in a world where we are stronger, more resolved in our dreams.

I want to look at you and say

"I'm gone",

but I cannot.

I think it is something in your eyes that halts me.

I think you already know.

I am terrified that you already know.

Today, I Stagnate. Tomorrow, I Break.

I am lying on the floor next to my bed.

The air is dry, and it sears my throat as I drink in oxygen. It is stagnant, wallowing in itself for days, unmoved. I feel dust caked inside my esophagus.

I slump, contemplating the stars hidden behind the ceiling. Just out of reach.
If I broke a hole through the roof, would I see them?

After living for so long, I have come only to focus on the slate of emptiness between each pinprick of brightness. No, I am blind to seeing the stars.

And I slump, contemplating what you and I have become. Left behind.
If I broke down your door and confessed myself, would you see me?

After distance, and trial, and being away and being gone and being invisible, there is left only a slate of emptiness between two pinpricks of brightness.

No...

No, you are blind to seeing me.

I am lying on the floor next to my bed, waiting.